Theo Jorgensen: "Let's Get Ready To Rumble!"

We promised to keep you informed about the title fight between Theo Jorgensen and Gus Hansen. And by "title," we mean "Best Fighter Between 2 Guys Who Should Wear Shirts."
















Despite Hansen's smack-talk and bravado, Jorgensen showed him who was boss.












The word on the poker circuit was that both "fighters" were immersed in training under the expert tutelage of professional boxing coaches. They climbed into the ring, squared off into their respective corners, and came out swinging.

... sort of.

What actually happened was a boxing match that looked like two dogs fighting over a piece of meat.

... if the dogs were poker players who had never lifted a weight in their lives.

... and the piece of meat was their collective dignity.

In the end, the judges gave the bout to Jorgensen, who won $35,000. But, if you ask us, all of us lost a little something during that bout.

And Speaking Of Hansen...

As if losing a well-publicized boxing match to this guy weren't enough...

























New reports out of highstakesdb.com suggest that Hansen may be one of the biggest high-stakes fish online. Even Phil "OMGClayAiken" Galfond, who has been known to drop a few dollars in the poker rooms claims poor Gus is like chum to the high-stakes sharks.




















That's not very charitable in our opinion, especially since Gus's pride just took a beating in the ring (see above). To his credit, Hansen basically said highstakesdb.com is wrong. He's doing fine. Of course, the extra $25,000 that he would have won by knocking Jorgensen's block off would have come in handy.

But, he ain't starvin'.

Money For Nothing

A quick update on the durrrr challenge...

The money has been moving back and forth between Patrik Antonius and Tom "durrrr" Dwan. Tom was up over $100,000. Then, Patrik came back with a huge win (nearly $200,000). As of yesterday, Tom had taken Patrik for a $200,000 run.
















And we're a long way from over!

That's a wrap for this week. To recap...

1. Jorgensen and Hansen prove that they'll do anything for the spotlight (and we do mean anything).
2. Hansen's pockets have developed a leak (according to highstakesdb.com).
3. Antonius and Dwan have never heard of the word "recession."

See you next week...

PokerStars Celebrates 25 Billion Served

Poker Stars.com has been having an outrageously good streak lately. They've vaulted from the pack this year and dealt their 25 billionth hand (yes, with a "b") yesterday. It was quite an event and took place at a $1/$2 Limit Omaha Hi-Lo table.

Unfortunately, there was a bit of chaos due to a knucklehead named "Confedrate." He came into room, opted out of the big blind, and wasn't dealt in. There was a ton of money on the line, so "Confedrate" threw up a flag and protested.

His luck wasn't any better than his attention span and he'll forever be remembered as this guy...



















Speaking of PokerStars, they're having a great year so far, you may have noticed how busy they've gotten lately. It's probably due to the run-up to their 25 billionth hand. According to reports, they logged 46,800 simultaneous real cash games last Thursday. Whew!

Let's move on to a few poker items with a personal flair.

Gus Hansen Ain't No Fighter

As you know, Gus Hansen and Theo Jorgensen are slated to slug it out to settle some personal differences. There's some bad blood between the two of them due to Hansen's shadowboxing moves and some troubles on the squash court.

If you remember from a couple of weeks ago, Hansen was sure he was a better fighter than Jorgensen. In fact, he was so confident that he refused a straight bet.

Apparently, the odds makers don't agree. They've pegged Hansen as the 40-60 underdog which must make him feel like this...


















We're looking for Hansen to take the gloves off. Because, seriously, look at this guy...



















The fight is happening on February 21st (this Saturday).

Luzak Is Doing Better Than Musak

Just a quick note here. Sami "LarsLuzak" Kelopuro has sprinted from the pack with a $2 million haul over a 3-day period.



















Not a bad take, especially since he coughed up $2 million during the first 6 weeks of 2009. That about makes him even so far.

That's another wrap. To recap...

1. PokerStars has a new village idiot (that'd be "Confedrate").
2. Hansen may be better at shadowboxing than real boxing.
3. Kelopuro has good reason to be thanking his lucky stars.

Tune in next week...

Phil Ivey Circles The Drain

It's been a sad, depressing trek for our man Phil Ivey. After clearing over $7 million last year while playing at Full Tilt Poker, he's been hemorrhaging cash faster than MC Hammer. So far, Ivey is down $2 million in 2009. Tell us, can you see the gloom on his face? Hey Phil, I have a list of great online casino coupon codes for you if you're looking to try your luck at an online casino! Bodog's offering a 10% instant deposit up to a grand. :)















It's almost as if he looked over at Tom Dwan and said to himself, "Ha! I'll bet I can even beat him at losing!"

Fortunately, the news is not all bad for Ivey. You might remember that he put a massive pile of money on the Super Bowl. It turns out that he put 2 huge bets on the Cardinals. The first bet was a +3.5 spread at the half. The second was another spread at the end.

He lost $800,000 when the Cardinals slipped from the spread. But, picked up a cool $1 million when they kept the spread at the end. So, the end tally from the game? $200,000 to the positive.

It's a drop in the bucket compared to how much he's lost on the Fulltiltpoker.com tables this year. But, that's still a pretty big drop.

Clonie Revisited

We've been waiting to see what comes from Clonie Gowen's lawsuit against Full Tilt Poker. If you haven't been keeping score (that's what we're here for!), she sued Full Tilt and said they owe her a ton of cash.

And by "ton," we mean $40 million. Whew!

At this point, the next stage is for Full Tilt to either open their books (which we're damn sure they don't want to do) or pay Gowen off. If they pay her off, here's how we're expecting Gowen to look...




















The "durrrr" Challenge Is About To Launch

Seems like we have a few stories in the hopper to catch up on this week. Bringing up the rear is Tom Dwan's Million Dollar Challenge. Several weeks ago, "durrrr" had offered to go head-to-head with anyone willing to put up $500,000 to his $1.5 million. A few players threw their hats in the ring, including Ivey, Patrik Antonius, and David Benyamine.











Antonius is slated to test Dwan's mettle first. We haven't heard exactly when it's happening, but it's soon.

That's another wrap. To recap...

1. Phil Ivey needs to get his head back in the game.
2. Clonie Gowen may not be able to wipe the grin off her face soon.
3. Tom Dwan, given his disastrous beginning this year, has balls of steel.

See you next week...

Throwing Down With... Gus Hansen?!

Welcome back to the party. News travels fast in the poker world and we're here to keep you up to speed.

Enough chit chat. Let's get started.














Apparently, Theo Jorgensen is just about fed up with Gus Hansen. They've always had a little rivalry going. The thing that finally pushed Jorgensen over the edge was Hansen's shadowboxing escapades after each win on the tables (yeah, that would piss us off, too).

So, Jorgensen and Hansen are planning to settle the matter in the boxing ring on February 21. The purse is supposed to be $35,000. But, Hansen said he's in far better shape and he'll only take $25,000 when he wins.

Them's fightin' words!



















As it stands right now, Hansen is the underdog at +155.

Frankly, we'd much rather see them get into the MMA Octagon. But, hell... a couple of right hooks are better than nothing.

C'mon... who doesn't want to take a swing at this smile?




















Next on the poker docket...

Tom Dwan's Losing Streak Continues

As of a few days ago, Dwan had managed to amass over $3.5 million in losses.




















He doesn't look too happy, does he?

If anyone has had their fingers in Dwan's pockets, it's gotta be Gus Hansen (yes, the boxing dynamo) and Patrik Antonius. Hansen's is up over $2 million so far in the year while Antonius is closing in on $3 million.

At this rate, poor 'ole Dwan is going to need his own federal bailout.

We're pulling for you, Tom. But, you might want to rethink those $1 million challenges in the future.

The $1 Million Bet Heard Around The World

Phil Ivey made a call from the floor of the Bellagio a few days ago. At the time, he was waiting to see whether someone would pick up a $1 million bet on the Super Bowl.














Well, we know how that game turned out, but nobody seems to know (yet) who Ivey wanted to bet on. For those of you who are keeping score out there, you might remember that Ivey lost a huge bet (rumored at over $1 million) on the NBA Finals last year.

So, even if you did find out which team Phil wanted to back, would you throw your chips in behind him?

Not with that track record.

Another week, another wrap. To recap...

1. Gus Hansen thinks he's a skinny Mike Tyson.
2. Tom Dwan is about to blow right through his take from 2008.
3. Phil Ivey has more confidence in his NFL team picking than we do.

Until next time...