That Ol' PhotoShop Magic

Sometimes an ad is so bad, it's very, very good. The reason? You can't put the thing out of your thoughts. It's effective advertising, because ads like this are a bit like all those crooked pictures on the wall at your great aunt's --- you keep staring at the things, not because you necessarily want to straighten them, but because your mind's telling you that... there's something wrong there.... The end result is that the ad sticks in your craw, becoming memorable, if not necessarily for the right reasons.

We have, for your enjoyment, an ad from the current newsstand edition of Card Player, pumping up the poker-room renovation/expansion at the Borgata in Atlantic City:

My oh my oh my.

As the ad proclaims: "It's no longer a secret. We're expanding our poker room. Start practicing." Well, of course they are, silly; then they won't have to play on reconstituted blackjack tables like the one shown in the ad.

But that's just the start. The mind reels when one gets sucked in by the phony imagery here. The last time I saw any player's hands that close to the dealer's chip rack, the hands finished the game not attached to the rest of the player, and Wendy's stock dropped six points. (Ba-da-bing!) But about those hands... my God. They aren't that model's, unless, that is, she's the illegitimate daughter of E.T. Just look at those mitts --- bigger'n her head, they are!

Yet we're missing the gist of the photo; after all, we should be congratulating this ad's heroine on that kickass pot she's raking in. She flopped a set of aces, and the poor sap next to her (the guy in the open shirt who's been bummed out ever since he missed out on the lead role on Tilt) rode his underset of queens to an expensive demise. But --- whoa! --- that happy dude on the right's flashing a heart jack that in no way fits anything on the board, yet he was in there for the ride, too. At the bottom, the ad's text advises that there will soon be "More Chances to Find Your Game." Close. That Mr. Sammy Farha-wannabe needs to find a game; as of right now his really sucks. In the meantime, I want him at my table.

Accidental brilliance. I can't for the life of me decide whether this is as clever a one-off ad as anything that's ever appeared in a poker magazine, or just another case of Intern Day at the ol' ad agency. I'm going to bet on the latter, but this is one pot I'm not going to cap.