It used to be that the only place to find one-off gifts specifically themed for the poker player was in the Hammacher-Schlemmer catalog. But those were indeed the old, dark days, before there was ever a book called "I, Moneymaker" or even personalized avatars on Full Tilt.
Still, some gifts still to seem to be the type straight out of the Auntie Sophie --- Ante Sophie, if you prefer --- group. "Auntie Sophie" gifts? Those are the gifts you receive from loving but knowledge-poor relatives still needing to cross you off their list. "Oh, little Johnny plays poker, now?" This category includes the stylin' WPT-branded bottle opener on the right, available for $6.95-plus-shipping through the merchandise store over at the World Poker Tour. (Or, one presumes, for 99 cents at a "Just Deals" or "Big Lots" near you... if you're willing to wait a couple of years.) Nonetheless, Auntie Sophie remains dear to our hearts; she means well, though she's always a sucker for the over-branded crap.
So, hey there, you hot young poker stud. Surely there can be no other way to impress your poker savvy and coolth upon your friends other than to whip out this bottle opener, and listen to all four of the Mike Sexton soundbites the thing plays as you pop the top off another Milwaukee's Best, or Old Milwaukee, Michelob Extra Foam or whatever the WPT's Official-Beer-of-the-Endorsement-Contract-Period happens to be.
Looks like dorm-room fodder to me.
But let's say you're the lucky recipient. Now if you're really on a roll, have the ol' mojo flowing and possess poker coolth beyond all mortal imaginings, then your magical handling of the bottle opener might lead you to that other nirvana... Chick-ville. W00t!! And if the stars do align, some magical night, then you might need the link to these folks as well.
W00t!! W00t!! Be careful, though; the object(s) of your amorous desire are still likely to be not-as-impressed if you carry one of these condoms around in your wallet for three years, even if it does carry that stylin' poker look and... ahem... feel.
(Sorry. The site's surplus of cheesy double entendres got to your faithful blogger for a moment, there.)
There's just not much that can be added to a gem of an idea such as this. What will they think of next? Besides, we're pretty sure poker condoms have crossed the boundary line for gifts you might receive from that Auntie Sophie you hold so dear.
Poor gal. If she only knew.
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